call me the quilombera

when you commit to an entire weekend in winery land, you can only expect a few sloppy moments here and there. only makes sense. however, the funny thing about my weekend in argentina's vineyard region was that i was a walking disaster not on drunk legs but on sober ones. and the longer the legs, the bigger the walking disaster, right?? 

my argentine grandmother, whom we call "abu" (short for abuela), knew i had it coming. as i was scrambling to get my life and belongings together before heading out to mendoza, an tranquil town of malbec and mountains on the border of chile, i explained to her that i needed to stop being such a total quilombo, the argentine slang word for "mess". in agreement, she smiled and renamed me "la quilombera", turning the simple noun for mess into a noun for a person-mess, i.e. ME. 

on the bus to mendoza when i was telling my friend thomas about the new nickname abu had coined for me, he pointed out that this is the all-time perfect spanish nickname for me, not just because it aptly describes my tasmanian-devil style but because it LITERALLY contains my english nickname within it. for those that don't speak spanish, quilombera is pronounced key-lomb-BEARA!! can you say destiny?? whereas my ecuadorian friends sometimes call me "osa", directly taking the spanish word for bear and adding a feminine ending (how nice of them), the argentine version suits me even better. the fact that my own nickname is embedded within the argentine word for mess proves that 1) argentina and i are meant to be and 2) being a mess really is part of my nature and i might as well accept it once and for all. during our three incredible days in mendoza, the quilombera and her friends were in FULL FORM, i think i might have rubbed off on them.

we arrived in mendoza mid-day on friday, greeted by the best weather ever and stunning snow-capped andean mountains in the distance. after checking into the hotel and gobbling down milanesa lunches in fifteen minutes flat, we jumped into a horseback-riding excursion at the last minute and caught the van that would take us up to the pre-cordillera, the smaller mountain range that precedes the main attraction, the andes. the little hillside ranch, in the middle of nowhere, featured a huge pen of goats (who kept biting my sneakers, i was not feeling that) and the cutest puppies ever. also, the mini ranch featured the hottest gaucho of all time. it was quite a pleasant scene.

do you wanna DANCE?!?! 

we were assigned our horses and the gaucho wranglers helped us up into the saddles. the second i placed my left foot into the stirrup and went to swing my right leg over the top, my jeans completely ripped, clean slice right on the inside of my thigh and under my butt. i burst out laughing and stopped, and then when i attempted a second time, the rip only doubled in size. quilombera. i was given the biggest horse out of everyone, and was slightly worried about the upcoming ride when i learned his name: "black soul". didn't bode too well. my friend thomas was given a horse named "clavel", who seemed like a sweetie, but whose name we later found out means "flower of death". how lovely!! the afternoon ride through the mountains was absolutely idyllic, definitely one of the more memorable rides of my life and "black soul" ended up being more of a sweetie than i had been anticipating. "flower of death" had some issues with the whole trotting thing and, after one failed attempt, thomas was given a shrub to use as a makeshift whip, which we nicknamed the "rally rama" (rama = branch).

me and black soul....maybe as good a horse as ALLLVIN 

one of the best parts of the two hour ride was our incredible lope through the hillside, definitely the best moment of any horseback ride. i remembered my first lope ever at the alisal ranch, when mom and i took a private lesson and enjoyed a exhilarating lope through a meadow of mustard flowers. this one was almost as amazing. my friend thomas and i got so wrapped up in the moment that we both inadvertently started whooping and hollering "dale, dale, dale!!!!" (which basically means "go") uncontrollably. the gauchos were definitely wondering what breed of crazy americans had hit town.

we enjoyed a relaxing pit stop in the shade for some mate and these salty, rock-hard bread disks that are apparently pretty common in the mendoza dessert region, but were actually pretty disgusting. gaucho hottie was all prepared with his complicated mate setup: along with the thermos of hot water and the wooden mate (the spitting image of the one i've been imagining in my mind that i want to buy), he had this cool sack thing resting on his leg, with one pocket for yerba and another pocket for sugar, a metal spoon in each. quite a lot of pieces for something as simple as mate. we chatted for a little bit with the gauchos and the brazilians who were with us on the excursion (for the LIFE of me i could not understand their spanish!! very portuguese-influenced nasality, i had no clue what they were trying to say) as we passed around the wooden gourd from person to person.

the second hour of the ride was equally awesome. we came across a pack of wild horses, which apparently can get a little bit dangerous, and one of the wranglers who was accompanying us literally had to start galloping on his horse to scare them away from us so there wouldn't be an even worse showdown. the whole thing was wild. he was galloping through the hillside, yelling at them, and even whipped out his lasso at one point. better than a rodeo, this was the real thing and we were all totally entranced watching the scene unfold. i didn't manage to snap any great pictures of the drama, but here's the basic premise.

group of wild horses (there were about fifteen others in the pack as well) in our pathway. 

our descent down from the mountain....me, will, tiffany. such a great view. 

thomas and his rally rama 

we combined our newfound cowboy-ness with some standard mendoza-ness that night at dinner, trying cow's tongue for the first time (thanks to thomas who had the guts to order it!!) and topping off our meals with a bottle of red wine. we sat back and relaxed like true mendocinos for the next three hours, taking our time and sharing many a good laugh, but also getting into some pretty deep conversations about race and discrimination at our respective universities. was that the wine talking?? who knows. in my typical quilombo fashion, my flip flops completely broke during dinner and i was forced to walk home to the hostel completely barefoot, garnering quite a few priceless looks from the locals we passed along the way. oh well. welcome to my life.

saturday was a full day of wonderfulness and wine. after our free hostel breakfast (coffee and medialunas, what else is new?!) we hopped onto a local bus that would take us a few miles outside of mendoza's main city center to the sleepy town of maipú (yes, i know what you're thinking and yes, it is pronounced that way) where many of the family bodegas are located. we rented biked for a couple of bucks and set off for what would be an absolutely idyllic days of quiet cobblestone streets, delicious reds and whites, and free chocolate along the way. for me, there is absolutely no better way to see and explore a new place than by bike, so i was in heaven. (only wishing that my #1 bike companion momma was there with us!!)

after a free glass of wine at the first vineyard (woo!!), we continued onward in our epic bike ride and made a longer pit stop at the famous trapiche winery, where something ridiculous like 10% of the entire country's wine is produced, by far the biggest production and turnover rate of all. we were in the right place for sure. we were absolutely fascinated learning about the winemaking process during our hourlong tour, and our guide ezekial got a huge kick out of us and our endless questions, about everything from the history, to the production, to the best tips for reading wine. we never freaking shut up. but he was a good sport and seemed to appreciate our curiosity, though was definitely wondering what had just landed on his classy winery tour.

olive tree!! 

the trapiche brand follows a very specific methodology that includes a lot of organic processes; for example they use droppings from the grounds' llama to fertilize the grapes and develop the most natural flavor. they also closely follow the moon cycle to know when the water will most effectively travel upwards from the roots into the grapes themselves, and cut them when they are best hydrated like that. to be honest, i know jack squat when it comes to wine but was completely intrigued hearing about the long and complicated process, and the many different factors and actors that contribute to its production. the trapiche powerhouse, which instantly struck me as this glitzy and monopolistic corporation, function a little bit like some american franchises, where individuals can work their own plots of land using trapiche's model and resources, are overseen by bosses from the main production center, and then earn money for their harvests. i also talked with the tour guide a little bit about los trabajadores golondrinas (swallow workers, like the bird) who come to mendoza from bordering countries, almost exclusively from bolivia, for seasonal work in the grape fields. god knows how they are treated and paid, but hopefully well. for me, it's always fascinating to hear about the economic base foreigners (often from countries like bolivia and peru and paraguay) provide for argentina's market and the large, though often unmentioned, workforce they represent in such processes. witness the complicated, interconnected human web that something as insignificant as a glass of red wine might symbolize: a bottle of malbec wine produced in argentina, composed of grapes picked by temporary workers from bolivia, gets imported to the united states and europe. it's not something i would have necessarily thought about before.

digital macro!! 

after our tour of the vineyard, about twice as long thanks to our incessant questioning, we headed inside with the group for an epic tasting that included four different glasses of wine!! a champagne, two reds, and a delicious dessert wine, syrupy and sugary and peach-flavored, just my sweet-tooth style. we were definitely a lot more clueless than our chilean and argentinian and brazilian middle-aged companions, but tried to suppress our chronic quilombo disease and get through the taste testing without pulling something too too ridiculous. we had some good laughs looking for BOODDDYYYY in the wine. such posers.

clever little play on words: bienVenidos means "welcome"
but here they replaced it with bebido, which means drunk!!

we visited a few other places over the course of the day, stopping for a solid asado lunch (meat and red wine = soooo stereotypically argentine) at one of the smaller bodegas and then continuing onwards to two different chocolate/liquor spots. hard alcohol is so not my thing, but i managed to at least try the orange-flavored liqueur that i ordered, while the boys went a little more all out on the taste testing. BRO. thomas bought himself a bottle of the fieriest thing i have ever tasted in my life, a bright green liquor called "the russian death"!! very appropriate!

on the way back, the police started following us and we were flipping out wondering why. they just slowly tailed us for a solid twenty minutes but never pulled us over, we were still kinda freaking out though. later, realized that they were following us to make sure we weren't drunk!! drunk on a bike would not be a good thing, but apparently that is pretty common in mendoza; lots of foreigners rent bikes and by the end of the day they are bombed, riding on the main roads along with cars and trucks. nothing to worry about with us though!! overall a fabulous day that couldn't have been any more perfect....we were so giddy and happy that we decided to bike and sing together some classic tunes like "ain't no mountain high enough". so cheesy and so fun.

thomas, will, tiffany, sarah 

we used self timer to take this awesome vagabond shot!!! great idea will!!

the next day we woke up at 5:30am in order to catch a 7:00 bus that would carry us to the tiny tiny town of uspallata, hardly visited by tourists and precisely the type of place we were looking to spend our last morning in. i had another disaster moment that, as inconvenient for me as it was, provided endless entertainment for the group over the course of the day. when i tried to put my contacts in, they stung a little bit. but naturally, i had forgotten to pack both my contact solution and my glasses, so i asked thomas if i could borrow his solution. but naturally, being me and 5:30 in the morning, i neglected to read that it was exclusively for rubbing and instead dumped a couple of drops straight into my eyeballs. the hostel was lucky i didn't start screaming on the spot. i literally could not keep the lenses in without wanting to die so i ended up just spending the day with nothing in my eyes. this is a girl who is borderline sightless without anything in her eyes. first day of my life since the fourth grade where literally everything i saw was in blur mode. i was completely vampire-looking and my friends got a kick out of it. not just la quilombera, but also la ciega (the blind one). when we arrived in uspallata after the two hour bus ride (perfect for a nap), we strolled along the dirt roads and headed to the starting point of a small hike that would give us an amazing view. uspallata is literally an oasis of green trees and adobe homes plopped randomly in the middle of nowhere, fenced in on every side by stunning pre-cordillera peaks. 

when we got to the top of the first lookout "peak", the four of us each popped a squat and took in the sweeping views, beautiful and dwarfing no matter what direction you turned to. we literally sat in silence for a solid twenty minutes (except for when i had to ask if the little moving things at the bottom of the mountain were dogs or people, i could tell there was life below with my eyes but not what kind of life) and reflected in our own quiet spaces. it was pretty cool to be able to just sit there peacefully with my friends, and not feel the need to fill the moment with pointless words. we continued onward up to the top of the mini mountain where a flag had been planted. highlight of the weekend: singing the georgetown fight song on the mountain with thomas and will. they had made it to the top before me (i was being extra careful because of my blindness) and in the near distance i could hear them singing the fight song. when they got to the hoya saxa call and repeat i understood where they were going with it all, and jumped in to do the saxa response part. so fun!! represent!!

 

epic photo. 

after taking in a few last looks of the incredible mountain range, we headed back into town hoping to find a little lunch, but not expecting that anything would be open on sunday in a quiet place like upsallata. we did encounter one restaurant, that looked greasy and gross, but were too hungry to care much. and then we discovered that this place was a gem: i had the best steak i've had so far in argentina, paying seven bucks total. who would have guessed?! i wanted a photo with my amazing steak, which i found funny because it had come with nothing more than a leaf of lettuce and half a shredded carrot (total argentine fashion), but didn't think that tilting the plate towards the camera would be a bad idea until the steak juice spilled everywhere!! thomas caught my mid-photo reaction. call me the quilombera!!